Sometimes, it is quite obvious when your marriage is over, but that is not always the case. Without a doubt, there are plenty of people in the Vancouver area who have wondered if it was time for to go their separate way from their spouse, but were not certain. Ending a marriage is a big step and it is natural that people sometimes want to wait for an irrefutable sign before they make the plunge.
But such irrefutable evidence doesn't always come. Instead, the proof that your marriage is beyond repair and a divorce is necessary can come from an accumulation of smaller, subtler signs. Take a look at these five common issues and ask yourself if they apply to your relationship:
- The two of you are not finding solutions to your problems: Every relationship is going to have its rough patches, because life simply isn't always smooth sailing. But one way you can tell if your marriage is not working is whether you and your spouse are able to find solutions to those issues or whether they remain unsolved and continue to cause friction between the two of you. If it's the latter, that may be a sign it's time to schedule an appointment with a divorce lawyer.
- You talk less than you used to: This is a little vague, but open and honest communication is crucial to a healthy relationship. It's possible that the two of you never talked all that much, but think all the way through the history of your relationship. Are you withholding things from your spouse just because you don't want to talk? Is your spouse doing the same? Do you fight instead of converse? This may be an indication that your marriage is in trouble.
- There are financial issues: Because the way you spend money is a proxy for your values, financial issues have undone many a marriage. If you and your spouse just cannot seem to agree on how to spend your money, that is a big problem.
- You lack intimacy: All couples are different, but if you feel that the spark is gone, so to speak, and you aren't ready for it to go out, that may mean the passion has left your relationship. Everyone has different intimacy needs -- are yours being met?
- You are angry all the time: Yes, even people in happy marriages are angry some of the time. But are you angry all the time? That is, are you never able to find a way to dissolve your anger? No one deserves to be perpetually angry, frustrated, hurt or upset. If your marriage is making you that way, removing yourself from it may make you happier.
Source: The Huffington Post, "'Should I Divorce?' 10 Ways To Tell If Your Marriage Is Over" Evelyn and Paul Moschetta, May 24, 2012